effective    communication

Consulting & Coaching

Simplified Complexity

A Handbook For Getting Along

Outside of his consulting and coaching practice, Peter writes about some of our lesser-understood human dynamics. Conversations With Ourselves and With Others, Handling Our Own Challenging Emotions and Relational Challenges, and Acknowledging Gender Differences are five areas that are addressed in this little 5" x 7" handbook.

Download for personal use

The thinking presented in this little handbook is about experiences and observations that tend to stand the test of time. It is free to download for personal use. There is no reproduction or publishing without permission. Get the 5" x 7" pdf of the handbook here:


Let Peter know what you think at peter@solutionbydesign.com


Simplified Complexity - Topics

Conversations with ourselves

Happiness vs contentment
Your thoughts are not your feelings
Stop trying to meditate!
Internal vs external authority
The power of anytime but now
Good intentions pave bad roads
Assigning motive to others
Judging (your) past by today's standards
Our (unrealistic) expectations of others
Helping - who does it really help?
Authenticity vs making shit up

Handling our own challenging emotions

Conscience is the organ of belonging
Owning your experience
Self-doubt - your worst enemy
Reactivity vs spaciousness
Karma: what goes around, comes around?
The only question when feeling agitated
Confusing guilt and shame
Sex and shame are terrible bed fellows
Pain & suffering, pressure & stress
Hope, and a little fear
Fear & laughter - humor & freedom
The myth of good guys & bad guys
Overcoming trauma: walking wounded

Conversations with others

Communicating effectively
Arguing with someone's experience
Asking why vs how: fighting vs learning
Niceness vs honesty, kindness vs truth
Venting - because it feels so good!
Unsolicited opinions, advice & help
Active listening & open questions
Autobiographical listening
Handling conflict well
Giving & receiving feedback
Manipulators are always other people

Handling relational challenges

Loving someone & being loved
Negotiating the currency of power
Boundaries - tricky but good
Giving up self in relationship
Apologies & forgiveness - what works?
Power struggles - they happen
Compromise vs concession
Triangling in relationships
When someone really loses it
Traps of relational victimhood
Consent is everything
How to survive bullying
What breaks a relationship

Acknowledging gender differences

What the feminine needs from the masculine
What the masculine needs from the feminine
How the feminine and masculine organize
Masculine and feminine needs at odds?
Dignity & honor - Feminine & Masculine?
Laughter and gender, surprise!

Handbook Topics Information

Each topic only takes a few minutes to read, and each topic stands on its own. No other topic is needed in order to read and understand any one topic. Some topics may be more controversial than others. Check out which topics speak to you and take a few minutes to try them out. Maybe you or someone you know could use these perspectives and insights towards getting along a bit better both with ourselves and everybody else. Get the 5" x 7" pdf of the handbook here: